This will still be the place for personal updates. To that end, here’s how the last six months have gone:

I’m still here with Dad, we’ve got no rush to make any changes. Storm damage has been light & has given a few branches to convert to firewood. We both have nice tools in working order for our long list of projects. We were both able to attend family reunion #104 this year.

We’d certainly rather have mom join us or at least welcome us home and hear our stories, but those years are done. Instead we can appreciate that she has no pain, confusion, or worry at our absence.

I’m returning focus to the neglected websites and the potential for income that they promise. I have an official business entity and have done custom work for a few clients. I’ve also begun looking into temp opportunities while working at the fabric shop. I have a few regular social appointments weekly and monthly, with layered goals of some R&R, growing in skills, and showing myself available & trustworthy to share about Jesus.

There’s a lot of “I” in that paragraph, but this is a personal update site, so…

Jesus knows how the prayer list has grown. There are health issues for every community I’m linked to. Some folks have made decisions with heavy impacts both for individuals and ministries – the call for wisdom & peace is strong. The recent weather storms have made messes, but pale in comparison to human messes public & private. In all, He is neither surprised nor flummoxed.

It looks like I’ll be farther away from my beloved Deaf Community for the rest of the year. I’m staying in light touch, my sign skills are tanking once again, and I take comfort in knowing several ministries are Deaf reaching Deaf. Indigenious is best. The group I was assigned to for a while seems to be thriving. I can be thankful that I was there “for such a time” and look forward to being useful again. Until then, I’m not bored.

As always, my prayer request is that Jesus puts me where He wants me & lets me know I’m there.

Thanks for checking in.

I was first introduced to Alz when it was new for everyone. In 1985, my maternal grandma was diagnosed and I was available for an info luncheon. There I met a lovely couple who became friends. She offered me butter six times, and six times he apologized (though he didn’t need to). He hired me for some admin work, so I saw the effects & advance weekly for a few years.

One huge thing I quickly learned is that a sole caregiver will lose their own mental/cognitive abilities. This is the reason I chose to return to Ohio in 2024, to give dad the respite he would need (but not ask for). It’s been another learning experience.

The funeral’s over and the rebalancing of life has begun at differing rates. Dad’s bracing for later this month when he’ll mark their 60th anniversary as his first without her. My odd calm can be attributed to several things, a few that might apply to your experience. Here they are:

1) God’s gracious promises. He gives peace that passes understanding. He walks with those who trust Him, communicating in intimate ways unique to each relationship. He said that those who believe in & honor Him will live with Him forever. If you know, you know.

2) I know her perspective. We had many conversations since 1985, including the fact that grandma was bedridden for her last decade. Mom didn’t want such a life, and by what I call “harsh grace,” hers was a very short season.

3) Strange practice – I’ve lost her before…

In my youth, I had a very unsettling nightmare. Her demise was scheduled and I began listing her importance. Mom got an extra long hug when I returned home.

Years later, both parents and an aunt disappeared for four days. My friend and I kept a landline and two cell phones hot. Then dad called. They were fine (and I was fit to be tied!)

4) Sometimes it’s easier to say goodbye. Don’t get me wrong, it’s never easy, but watching the distress & discomfort of a loved one leads you to the place of letting go, for their sakes. This was less traumatic than the virtual losses, by far!

5) Supportive friends & family. Some see the trial coming and either choose to go it alone or aren’t blessed with the quantity & quality of people I have. I heartily suggest that you invest in building relationships and networks, then don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Now we find the new normal. For 2+ years, life has revolved around the needs and desires of someone trying desperately to hold onto her skills as a homemaker and secretary par excellence while losing the capacity to do so.

• We reclaim the house from that pesky little file monkey, knowing we’ll find lost things in strange places.
• We share calendars, yet release the need to carefully coordinate someone being home at all times.
• We rebuild relationships, networks, and projects that have been on hold while we focused on a higher priority.
• We enjoy music and beauty while we have the capacity to do so. Any less doesn’t honor the lady she was or the God who gave her to us for roughly 60 years.
• We comfort others as it says in 2 Cor 1:3-4. Already we’ve had the opportunity to do that several times, losing 6 in the family this year alone (and it’s only March!)

She’s gone from us, but not truly lost. By God’s grace, we know exactly where she is. In His presence, she’s no longer confused, cold, or far from breathtaking scenery. We’ll take it.

We’ve also entered a new normal. In this one, dad’s Valentine is quite confused, extremely unsteady, and determined to wander anyway. Aides will be visiting weekly, in addition to nurse visits. Double twins & new sheets are in order, just like married couples on old tv, but likely less comfortable. Good thing they know a quilter, backlog not withstanding.

I’m scheduled to work away from home Fridays in February & Saturdays in March. Dad & I trade Sundays at church, and we go on private excursions to the store, doctor, and such. That’s what the “in sickness and health” clause can look like.

Then there are those of us who have PALentines & pets instead. There are several reasons, but most of us also like a bit of TLC (and chocolate). We don’t begrudge the joy of others, it even brings a smile sometimes. So no protests to cancel the holiday.

Instead, whatever this season holds for you,

GO SHOW LOVE,

especially to those who are a bit lacking.

Happy Valentine’s Day (and remember, there’s always chocolate!)

There’s not much to say – no young’uns in t-ball, no cruising on the high seas or even the highways. It’s been a quiet year at home other than me taking a few trips out of state for Deaf Christian events & Dad going to the Home Place in Kentucky to do more work on the house with a few family visits on the side. Mom is essentially homebound these days, health & weather being the culprits.

She has declined noticeably this year. Her body is fine, albeit a bit wobbly at times. Her mind seems to be in her teen years and her processing ability goes back farther than that. She does enjoy music, travelogues, scenery, nature shows, and visitors. Most of our visitors are birds.

Dad & I are reasonably healthy, 25 years ago we had better knees & eyesight. We’ve got friend groups we meet with weekly (coffee for him, sewing for me), people we keep in touch with electronically, and alternate Sundays for church. Now that winter’s here, it’s jigsaw puzzle and wood burning season (the carry & fire kind, not the craft). I’m also hoping to get more sewing done, and he more woodwork.

Stay warm, y’all, and remember that this season celebrates the reason we can look forward to a pain-free and joyous life in a few hundred years. Ask me how.

Merry Christmas!

Let’s see… since 9/1/25, we’ve gone from nothing to report to whirlwind.

Did my first colonoscopy, they found 3 polyps, 2 are suspicious enough to return in 3 years, and $10k of med bills are wanting paid. Papers have been filed with the catastrophic reimbursement people who are still processing the heart stuff from Feb. Another angle on that “lose your life trying to save it” comment. Again, it means what it says, meanwhile it’s like galoshes, fits on other things too.

Hospice classifies alzheimer’s as a terminal illness, and they currently do more than “the last 6 weeks of breathing,” so they’re now on board. An RN visits weekly and other help is available. Dad’s plan is to keep mom home as long as possible, and to that end, we’ve added some exit locks. She still managed to get past us the other day, but the cold weather & warm fireplace make good co-conspirators. He & our cousin are adding a shower to the main floor, then we can add hygiene help, a common need in the world of cognitive decline.

He still swings between spry octogenarian & tired 81 year old. He can outwork men my age & gets winded going up the stairs. He has weekly coffee with the guys, doctor visits, and trips to the store(s). He’s got both VA and civilian doctors looking after his care. We’re still trying to find a day for admin work & brain break, like my Wednesdays, because caregivers need that lest they become patients. Thursdays might be it, if you’d like to kidnap him or offer a wood pellet carrying competition.

I’ve got several sewing projects in the hopper, some backlog & some Christmas gifts. The projects of short Bible quiz videos in ASL and children’s books are still on the back burner, along with the business that could generate some income, for the tax collectors at least. The school loans ($33k) are still in deferment & growing interest – many people have that problem.

Finally, I had a couple more deaf events in IN & TN. Some of those folks like the idea of Bible quizzes in ASL, but I didn’t manage to collect any videos. The monthly deaf gatherings across town are still happening, but I’ve not been to those in a few months either. I’m hoping to be more consistent in ’26.

There are prayer requests in all my communities. Health concerns, surgeries, post-med complications, loss & grieving of loved ones, the layers involved when that happens around holidays, concerns with a few pregnancies, and then we move out to society at large… God’s got the list, because it’s way too big for my tablet.

I’ve connected with a couple of friends, and I’m thankful for all of you who are so patient with me. I’m awful about resolutions, like many others, but I will endeavor to do better about two things: connecting and writing. The bar’s pretty low, so I’m sure I can manage ‘better’.

May this last month of 2025 hold the warmth of loved ones and the unmissable blessings of God. Get to know Him if you don’t already. ’26 will be so much more bearable with Him.

Because it does.

Here we are at Sept 1, and my friend & I haven’t fulfilled our goal stated near the end of July: “We’ll chat in August.” Friends – those people you love dearly, connect with rarely, and understand/forgive anyway. I’m about 3 birthday dinners behind with another friend, 2 days away from the next birthday season (which I’m not ready for), and 3 crafts behind on Christmas ’24.

But this is an update post – so we’ll get to an ‘up’ note: Aunt ‘Neen has a one-and-done plan for the littles for Christmas ’25. (And I’m kind of excited about it.) The littles’ birthdays? Um, no clue, and they’re both in September. I’ve got a plan for Dad’s, also September, and it will also be shared with Christmas. After all, what does an 81 year old twin of Tim ‘the toolman’ Taylor need, except help & shop time?

Frankly, his daughter could use a bit more shop time…but I have Wednesdays, and more friends than I can adequately love on, so we’re good…just a bit behind the 8-ball (and the 4, and the 9, and…).

Mine isn’t exactly a question of unclaimed minutes – it’s more a matter of fragmentation. Collections of minutes, such as 10-5 on work days, belong to the store, doctor, church, etc. All others are vulnerable to multi-tasking. At the moment, I’m writing this article on a phone app from the family room while keeping half an eye on a sleeping parent. (Who, by the way, goes from tortoise to jackrabbit in 1.7 seconds.)

My fingers on a real keyboard can get much more done than a stylus on a handheld, but that entails set up & tear down. You see, things out of place affect Mom like a snagged fingernail. Nothing else can happen until it’s dealt with. Thus, my office & sewing studio are in my bedroom. I do have (and cherish) sew-in Wednesdays. Fabric, focus, & friends – what could be better? Other than Bible study at the Deaf church with more friends (on Wednesdays).

There’s also a bit of whiplash, moms get it, of being involved in one thing and suddenly yanked by priority into something else with the pace dictated by another human. Just like the majority of family caregivers, I’m older than a young vigorous mom. My roller coaster riding days, while fun, are behind me…except metaphorically. But I’m not alone – generations of people have raised kids & protected elders. It’s my turn, and as promised, God is with me.

I can tell, because neither bitterness nor insanity have overtaken me, and some really cool people still call me friend & appreciate my humor. (It’s my coping mechanism.)

Speaking of which, I recently went to a Deaf retreat in MI. Turns out it’s been going on for 34 years – I wish I’d known long ago! Anyway, the registrar flipped my ornery switch a week before, and we kept up the banter all weekend. It was a much needed refreshment and I learned new games. Yes, the rest of the fellowship and the messages mattered. They were on faith – I have notes. As for ministry I brought to the environment, sometimes it’s ministry just to be one more person who tells someone they’re not invisible.

In a couple of weeks I’ll go to northern IN for another Deaf event & some time with beloved friends. Totally looking forward to it. This group, in many ways, removed my invisibility.

By the way, September is the month for the annual Deaf Kids Connect Virtual 5K. It’s a fundraiser for a ministry dedicated to making families of Deaf kids less invisible, and making Jesus visible to them. Participants have all month to move 3.1 miles, by walking, running, swimming, hiking, or all of the above. See their webpage for more.

Last month I mentioned some health stuff. The treadmill test was cut short. My heart rate changed enough to rule out a pacemaker, but as it went up, my blood pressure went down. The cardiologist made a medicine adjustment & said that as long as my ankles aren’t swelling & stairs aren’t a problem, we’re good. I’m at the low end of normal, a tad overweight, and at retirement age. Next check in April.

Jesus’ comment about trying to save your life and actually losing it, though it means what it says, has also had another application as of late. Like Martha, we can scurry around with all the health & beauty regimens, tests, and consultations to the neglect of the one higher priority. A sandwich & time together is what Jesus sought from His friends. Mary got it.

Martha’s intent was lovely, but it caused her to miss a much better offer. (Guilty as charged.) I prefer relaxed hospitality, where the focus can be on the friendship, not the expectations. I also prefer my healthcare and home maintenance that way. I’m not quite healthy enough to do all I wish, like a Prov 31 all-in-one-day kinda way, but I can handle what needs to be handled with a bit of ministry & leisure thrown in. The house wouldn’t pass a white glove test, but the Hoarders production crew isn’t knocking on the door. That’ll do.

Folks are status-quo. Dad has senior coffee every week with a couple of well-retired guys (at 81, Dad’s the youngest). One of them enjoys jigsaw puzzles with his wife then passes them along, so Dad & I have plenty of winter entertainment lined up. Mom now sleeps about 70% of the time. Much of her waking time is full of frustration for her, so sleep is ok.

That brings us up to Sept 1, lead-in to Fall with school, birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and another year. Already.

Why do old folks say time moves fast? Because it does. Enjoy your friends, now’s the time.

Everything’s pretty much as is was, with the decline that comes with degenerative issues. All bodies are relatively healthy, mine is potentially getting a leadless pacemaker. Food is an interesting challenge, finding things within nutritional boundaries and taste appeal for three different appetites. Travel/exploration is nearly nonexistent, and a bit of mechanical monitoring has been added. Minds are slipping at varying rates, one approaching freefall.

Alzheimer’s lives at our house, if you didn’t already know. I came home to be closer than 4 hours away, knowing that a sole caretaker will lose their own cognitive skills. It was time for the parent-care phase that happens at about this age if “the reaper” doesn’t arrive first. I’m now way less than 4 hours out, living in the guest room of their home.

I mentioned in other updates that I’d like to find a job that grants the income to live, including repaying a school note, as well as the flexibility to be available. Mmm…not happening… though I did register a business so I can do “gig work” without broadcasting my SSN all over town (bad enough that everyone wants your cell number). I signed up with a temp agency, several “M-F 9-5 for a long time starting next week” jobs have been presented, but health and availability prohibit those, along with my semi-random commitments to the fabric shop.

Work for Deaf Kids Connect has phased out, as they recently merged with Deaf Harbor. That group has video, signing, and ASL songwriting skills, so I have high hopes for them both with this union. They’ll operate as two units under one organizational umbrella, ministering to all ages of the Deaf Community and the friends and family whose goal is to share Jesus.

Indigenous is best, as each people group knows the heroes, villians, and stories of their culture, as well as how to present the new life they’ve found so others can join. I’m getting ok with being on the edge of the Christian Deaf community, welcome to visit whenever possible. My indigenous constituents would be the comfortable western church crowd who are unaware of the mission field in their neighborhood. I do celebrate glimmers of progress, and I still want to help.

A few of those visits, maybe even that help, are in the next few months with a couple of weekend camps and a picnic. I’m very much looking forward to those. I’m still involved with a Deaf Church nearby and wanting to visit another Deaf Church & friends across town.

In all, every day is an adventure, Jesus is never surprised, and I am well taken care of (including by the guardians of my sanity).

Who art in Heaven (with ultimate perspective & foresight)

Hallowed be Thy Name (honored, set apart, well represented in me).

Thy kingdom come (make me a conduit of love, grace, peace…kingdom qualities)

Thy will be done (help me seek justice, love mercy, walk with You)

on Earth as it is in Heaven (anticipating a better environment, seeing beauty here & now).

Give us this day our daily meds (yup, meds, with necessary delivery strategies and a little help to overcome stubbornness & hesitancy)

and forgive us our deceits as we forgive those whose diseases pushed us to it (You know our motivations, help us remember their mind-altering illnesses).

Lead us not into frustration, but deliver us from conflict (with our charges, other caregivers, opinionated bystanders, medical staff)

for Thine is the kingdom (authority), the power (ability), and glory (credit) forever,

amen (please help!)

Alice (a fake name for privacy) lives on a once-country road 4-5 houses from a railroad track with hills big enough to give belly fun if hit just right. Beyond the tracks, there’s a former drug house now a recurring small concert venue. Then, one gets to the area of an old neighborhood, beyond which is a new housing complex on what used to be a field of crops.

‘Alice’ disappeared, last seen carrying an armload of magazines toward the back field path. We searched every way we could, including driving the 4×4 around the semi-swampy path, calling the neighbor, and he went out in the truck to check the road.

He & I returned to the driveway as a lady with an SUV & shepherd-sized dog was delivering Alice to the address found on the magazines. The lady said her father shares Alice’s condition. She may have been an angel or a human on assignment. The dog & magazines were elements critical for success.

Now, as irritating as Alice finds it to be (enthusiastically declared), she’ll be under constant direct surveillance. (Though really, we all are.)

Giving thanks for a safe outcome.

Here’s the current status report, it being January and all:

I’m in the guest room at my parents’ home in Ohio. The question of whether to trade full-time employment for a private roof is indeed a strong one, but my departure for ministry in ’09 was on purpose, as was my return to Columbus in ’24. Jesus isn’t surprised, I’m well taken care of, and it’s time to be more available to my folks than a 4-hour drive. A private roof requires a verifiable income of $3k/mo…and there’s a school note still begging to be paid.

I’m no longer with Silent Blessings, dba Deaf Kids Connect. They’re focusing on building a network between impacted families and training them to work with their kids directly in teaching foundational truths of the Bible. I’m neither Deaf, a parent, an educator, nor a fundraiser. I was there when needed to get the ministry through some transitions, finish Dr Wonder’s Workshop, and build some meaningful relationships. That season is done, as we knew someday it would be.

Now is a good time to restate that funds donated to Deaf Kids Connect (formerly Silent Blessings) stay with the ministry. This includes funds donated on my behalf, which went toward my salary until April 2024.

I’m focusing on parent-care and doing what I can from Ohio, including participation in a Deaf church in New Albany and monthly deaf-led secular gatherings in Columbus. Any donations I receive for Deaf Ministry are deposited into a designated bank account, currently at $3,161.38. These funds have been applied to attending Deaf events and will hopefully be applied to developing short interactive video resources. Any such gifts are _not_ tax deductible.

I looked into establishing a non-profit, but startup admin fees would empty the account. Additionally, there’s writing documents, identifying a board who will be committed to volunteer roles, and more. Better to be adopted by an existing ministry with similar goals and the skills to get the job done. As one radio network states, that’s news to pray for.

I’m currently working part-time at a local fabric shop, as well as participating in a weekly quilting group. It may sound frivolous at first blush, but don’t underestimate the ministry opportunities that come from just “being there” and sharing life with people. Look around at your neighbors, coworkers, grocery clerks, or members of your social club(s) – are some of them a mission field to which you’ve been assigned?

As for my various communities and relationships, I’m woefully behind in touching base with almost all. If only some form of ESP could work each time I thought of you. Please know it’s far more than evidence suggests.

I thought I’d be farther along in writing, whether blog articles, children’s books, or the novel that won’t go away. Any seasoned writer will tell you that it takes time in a chair with a writing tool nearby. I was in such a group in Indiana until Covid made a mess of things. Over the 8 months in Ohio, it’s been an unpredictable mix of parent-care, discouragement, and a squirrel-esque indecisiveness that usually leads to roadkill. The list of writing ideas is long and growing, as is the pile of fabric I can convert to quilts & such. Time in a chair, focused on a creative task? We’ll just say, it’s news to pray for.

And with that, I’ll restate my current core phrase: Jesus isn’t surprised, and I’m well taken care of.

We’re one week into the new year – How ya doin’?